Mikey Boom

Urban Survival Tip #86

• Beware of the mystery juice

It is not uncommon to be bombarded by “mystery liquids” when waiting for your subway or when walking under scaffoldings. Scientists have yet to discover the nature of these mysterious juices or their origin but they have establish that they are disgusting and may very well cause gonorrhea of the face and ass. Additionally, many believe these mystery urban jungle juices to be more disgusting than french kissing a mexican midget or even taking a bubble bath with Gary Coleman.  Avoid these Ebola virus carrying mystery juices at all costs!